Language Progress Report - Something Happened

I had another best weekend ever! This time I was in Rennes with Karen and her copin, Fabien. Here are the things I have to write about:
• Galettes/Crêpes
• Marchés de Noël and the beauty of Rennes
• Transmusicales and an awesome percussion group
• Miss France
• Caramel au beurre salé
• St. Malo (including the biggest donuts and best sunset ever)

Here is what I want to write about:
• Learning French

So first what I’ve wanted to write about for a while:

It’s been a real struggle. Before I came, I had only studied French in school for three semesters. That’s a year and a half. And I have to admit I didn’t take it all that seriously. I didn’t even learn that I would have the chance to come to France until halfway through my second semester and even then, I was (regretfully) a little flip about it. I had this attitude where I thought three semesters would be a fine starting point and it would come to me naturally once I got here. And, I thought, if Professor King recommended me I guess I’m good enough. He knows better than anyone, after all. Well, it turns out that King didn’t realize that I wouldn’t have a fourth semester of French classes (because I was graduating just after my third). He was pretty clear that without the fourth semester times would be pretty hard for me over here. I said I’d come to as many of his French IV classes as I could, but then I got a M-F job which made auditing classes at my level impossible. I could have sit-in on some more advanced courses, but I was way too afraid. (Sorry Kory!) The point of all this is that by the time I finally got to France, the six months of time out of practice had wiped away a considerable amount of my vocabulary and grammar.

This significantly worried me. Especially because practically every other assistant I met was a French major, or had an immersion program, or had traveled in France before, or was born to parents fluent in French, or whatever. You name the reason they’re better than me, I’ve heard it. I don’t even want to talk about what happened when I first arrived in France again. Let’s move on to the good stuff.

Like I said in the title, something happened. I don’t know when it happened. Maybe it was last weekend in Caen; maybe it was at the awesome dinner I had last week with all my colleagues; maybe it was the first time I watched an episode of Buffy (dubbed in French) without subtitles and understood almost everything. Maybe it was one of those specific moments or maybe it was a blend of all of them and others. But I feel like, to be really predictable and cliché, a veil has been lifted.

It’s like I’ve been sick for a while. And people have had to be really gentle around me. You know, using small, simple words and basic phrases. And I’ve been trying to recuperate, learn this language, and it’s been this long, long process. For the most part I’ve had a super-positive attitude and tried my best. And sometimes it’s gotten to be too much and I’ve had to slip back into comfortable English with people I know will speak English with me. And, of course, I’ve been embarrassed to try French with people whom I don’t know well. The few times I did try with random people on the street or in the library, I felt like a total bother. Like it would be better for them and me if I just left them alone.

But this weekend was different. Karen told me that most of the weekend would be in French because her petit ami doesn’t speak English. But I decided on Friday that I would have an entirely French-language weekend. And I totally succeeded! With the exception of a few words here and there, and the internet and an hour or so of news in English, the weekend did pass entirely in French. Even when Fabien wasn’t there. It would have been possible to speak in English when it was just me and Karen, but I didn’t want to. And Karen is great. She was a French assistant in England not very long ago, so she can really relate. I told her to tell me when I made mistakes, and she corrected me without hesitation. She also has this way of translating things for me without using English. Sure, it would be easier for her and for me if she would just give me the word in English, but instead she thinks of a different way to express what she wants to say in French, and I can understand.

Like I said, I used to be afraid to talk with people I don’t know well, but that’s changed too. After talking with Fabien and some other friends of Karen’s (who don’t speak the English that’s oh-so-tempting to slip into when scared) I realized that I can get by in a conversation, as long as I say when I don’t understand something. I mean, people are going to understand that my grammar and pronunciation aren’t perfect, and sometimes the words I try don’t even exist, but I can manage somehow to express myself.

I know what’s happening. I’m en route to becoming fluent. I wouldn’t dare say that I’m fluent now, but I’m on my way. And that makes me grin like a silly preteen about to meet the Jonas brothers. When I talked to Tapan on the phone Saturday night, almost every thought that came into my head was in French. And I had to translate myself into English before I spoke. Also, those headaches that come after a night full of French have seemed to disappear. Plus, I’m dreaming in French more and more often. The other night, I even had a dream in which I corrected my own French!

When I first got here I said I understood about a third of all things said to me. In retrospect, I think it was much, much less. I used to dream about the day that I understood so much French that I could specify just one or two words per sentence that needed clarification. And that’s starting to happen.

I still have so much to learn that when I think about it my head hurts, but I’m happy with the progress I’ve made so far. Many people have told me they’re impressed, so I’ll let myself be impressed too. And hey, I learned by practicing on Fabien that I can in fact translate American songs into French. Not that it’s hard or anything. It’s not like the popular artists of today have anything particularly profound to say.

After this weekend, I know myself a little better. I know my strengths (my advanced English vocabulary makes it easy to find words big enough to be cognates; I’m like a sponge for slang; I’ve made progress with the “r” sound) and weaknesses (I pronounce “u” all wrong; reflexive verbs are unbelievably hard for me; I absolutely suck at the future tense). I know what to work on now, and what to keep up. Now, if I can just get past that tendency I have to zone out during long French conversations. It’s a habit that stems from insecurity, the assumption that I can’t possibly understand people. But now that I can follow a conversation, it’s time to let that habit die.