Here's to Lookin Out

failblog

Sing-Along with Dr. Horrible

Allow me to explain how incredibly awesome Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog is. Imagine that in the time it would take you to watch one episode of your favorite hour-long TV show (without commercials) you could watch a self-contained mini movie with singing, basic choreography, Neil Patrick Harris, Nathan Filion and an evil-ass horse, and it was all brought to you by super-genius Joss Whedon. OK, done imagining what an awesome and wonderful experience would be? Well rest assured that you can have all of these things. Right here, right now.

Seriously, I don't know why Hulu isn't more famous. You can watch lots of episodes of TV (House and Heroes for me) and some movies too, completely for free!

But back to Dr. Horrible. If you are still on this page, leave. Go watch it. And then come back because the following contains spoilers.

First, here are two reasons why I am in love with Neil Patrick Harris:

Laundry Day:



Brand New Day:


Of course one of the reasons that I love Joss Whedon is that his work always has a huge fan following. And lots of times, they have really smart things to say. There are some quite interesting discussions over at the Sing Along Blog Message Board. I think my favorite so far is the discussion of an alternate ending written by bellatrys over at LiveJournal. An ideal ending, but not one that Joss, or I, or any of the Whedonians I know actually, would ever support. Because ideal endings are not something that good art, or Joss Whedon, will ever give us.

What intrigued me most about this discussion, though, was not the talk about what should have happened to Penny or Doctor Horrible, but a small point that I almost passed over. User rudyhenkel said:

"Although I don't actually like the alternative proposed by the OP, why on earth should anyone *have* to accept the ending as is? If this was reality you'd be correct. Fortunately, this is fiction. So, while Sutures' alternative vision may lack the numbers, production value and artistry of the ending given to us, both endings are just as real. That is, not at all. People have to face and accept enough tragedy in real life. They shouldn't be forced to accept it in fiction as well, if they don't wish to."

I think that this is a valid argument for why fanfic exist, but I can't agree with what rudyhenkel says. When I find a writer as wonderful as Whedon, I get attached to the stories. His characters and plots are so well-crafted that to me, they are real. I relate to them as if they were my neighbors or enemies, and I am sad when their stories are over and I have to let go. Sure, fiction is fiction, but I think that the endings of really great fiction should absolutely, without a doubt, be regarded as truth.

What more can I say? Joss has delivered once again. I can't wait for the sequel!

[Internet] Radio Edit

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

To be honest, I'm surprised this hasn't happened sooner. I really hope that Pandora doesn't have to shit down (or shut down, but I rather like the typo I made there) because of the bullshit RIAA, because I don't know how I would get though my workday without this free internet radio. Ever since Ken Tompkins introduced us to it via our LittMajors ListServ, I have been grateful for it. It only plays songs that I like, and nothing inappropriate for the workplace ever comes up. I have been introduced to many new artists and sometimes it reminds me of a wonderful song that I haven't been appreciating lately. If it weren't for Pandora, I would have to listen to seven hours a day of SoJo 104.9, which is not at all something I want to do again. Even if Pandora does shut down, I will gladly switch to one of these other internet radio sites, and leave the Pussycat Dolls on the stereo of a coworker.

I'm naively hoping that Pandora by some miracle stays up, but here are some other internet radio channels, just in case:


www.slacker.com - There are many different categories to choose from, and I was pleasantly surprised when the first song that came up was "Damaged" by Danity Kane, but I would assume most people would not be as happy as I am about this. The UK Hits and UK Indies channels look promising, though.

free.napster.com - Happy that they have all of my favorite Regina songs, but it's taking forever to buffer. Hmmm.

nutsie - This has the most awesome feature of any, where you can listen to the Top 50 songs from any given year. Right now I'm listening to the most popular songs my senior year of High School. Rock out with your "Goodies" by Ciara out.

mp3tunes.com - You can make a Music Locker with this site and then stream all of the music from your home library from any computer. How rock is that? I'm sure it'll take a while to upload the mp3s, but it seems totally worth it. There's also a Playmix Player that seems to work the same as Pandora. I just don't have time to make an account right now, so we'll have to see later.

last.fm - Looks pretty awesome, even though it got some bad reviews on the comments of the Consumerist article. First thing it tells me on the homepage is that right now, 2,066 people are listening to Weezer's Buddy Holly. And that makes them all right in my book. And another thing, I just discovered Wilco on here, and I am totally in love.

For your viewing pleasure:

When my parents got their first computer, the sample disc with extra windows goodies had this video on it. And so it will always have a special place with me.

After an awesome night of body-accepting and comfort

I came into work and remembered what has been irritating me lately. I am secretary to a Health Sciences Educator for Rutgers University so most of my time on the internet is spent looking up information on Obesity and Overweight (real sad when the focus is on children), Diabetes, High Blood Pressure and Cholesterol levels, Diet and Exercise, and anything else that has to do with nutrition or family health.

One might say, "Hey that's great. You get the inside scoop. You get to learn new ways to be healthy now."

Except that I have struggled with weight since I was eight years old. Maybe longer. News flash: I already know. I have known the (quite simple) ways to lose weight for a very long time. We all know that more calories out than in equals less weight on the body. But, as most people who have a hard time keeping weight off will probably feel familiar with, the extra pounds that I carry on my frame have little to do with science. And another thing that far trumps all the tips and tricks I know about losing weight: These extra pounds and I are stating to get along. I am learning to be OK with them.

Let me clarify. I am just learning to be OK with them. After years of hiding them behind hairstyles and clothing and accessories, I am beginning to accept these pounds. I'm starting to realize that I have quite a sexy hourglass figure, one that could probably kick some roller-derby ass if I wanted it to. Sure I'm starting to see that this body is one that men can be attracted to. More importantly, I'm becoming aware that it's a body I can love, and feel secure in, and be proud about.

So what has inspired this ranty blog? Two things.

First, it seems that every single health website that I visit uses the BMI calculator as an indicator for wellness. And that really frustrates me. In addition to this being a skewed measure for health, it also makes me feel shitty. Really, I'm borderline obese? OK. Oh, and I'm at a much greater risk for diabetes and high blood pressure and death? That's funny, because I heard that women in the overweight group had the lowest mortality rate. Oh my god, AHA,are you telling me that if I don't make changes now I'm going to die someday? Fuck. Let me give you a trophy for opening my eyes. Truth is, it doesn't matter. Because I am going skydiving next year. Because I hitchhiked in a foreign country. Because I drive on a highway everyday. Yeah, I could make some wiser decisions about exercise and diet. But fuck it. I like chocolate chip cookies, and eating them is not going to put my life in any more danger than the next decision I make.

I'm frustrated that (because of all the searching I have to do at work) my google and scrabulous sidebars are always filled with ads for ridiculous get-thin-quick schemes. I'm tired of looking at "Are you Fat -----> Take this Quiz" ad banners on the top of my monitor. And I am at the end of my rope with people like Lissaana, who comment insensitive and cruel things on the bottom of sincere, well-written posts.

I don't understand why weight and body image are always ALWAYS on my mind. And I am terrified to take all of these issues to France with me. I'm planning on leaving them here, buried in 1725's back yard. And I hope I never EVER have to dig them up.

But perhaps what I am most cranky about is that I have still not found my USB cord, and all I want to do is show you the pretty pictures that I took. In July.

This just in

I just found out that Seth Green is in talks to join the third season of Heroes. This excites me more than you know, but it also disappoints me a little. Aside from the fact that the third season is set to air the day before I leave the States, another reason for my personal down is that I just haven't been able to commit to TV shows the way I used to. If I had it my way I would be caught up on all of my favorite primetime shows, especially Heroes and House. (Read on for the realization that made me change my mind midpost)

Since I moved to Ocean City, there hasn't been a single night when there isn't something better to do between the hours of 8 and 10 than watch a TV show. It's because I have the most awesome roommates, and it is infinitely more satisfying to socialize with them and enjoy their company while I still have it nightly. And since they (mostly) don't watch of the television, hour-long dramas are not something we are going to bond over. And you know what? I wouldn't want it any other way right now. Serialized network television is something that I was able to commit to when I was living at home and opening the airport store five days a week. I had to wake up too early to do anything at night and I was always alone so I would watch Prison Break House. And Heroes was something that I could watch with Kelly, or even better, with the folks at E-03.

So in the time it took me to write this post I have re-evaluated the reason for my disappointment. Since I will be in France, I will likely miss another season of some view-worthy TV. And if I am able to watch it on the interwebs while I'm in France, that will certainly mean I am missing out on some other way to absorb le French culture.

Sigh. I hope there are still good shows on when I settle into whatever life I choose.

WANT

ilikethese

Cause: Heroes for Andy

So Andy sent a note over facebook a while ago that prompted all of his friends to consider some questions about heroes and heroism. It took me a while to respond because I thought good and long about it. And I came up with some answers that I think are pretty solid, though they could use a little more analysis. At any rate, I think they're blogworthy, so here they are for your viewing pleasure (bolded bits are Andy's questions):

Who is your hero? Alexander Harris, the character from the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, is my hero.

why? what about that person/s makes them your hero? Xander remains throughout the series the only character that does not have or develop some sort of supernatural power. Let’s look at the characters: Buffy is of course the slayer, Willow and Tara are witches, Anya is an ex-vengeance demon, Dawn starts out as a mystical key, Oz becomes a werewolf, Angel and Spike are two examples of an ever-expanding cast of vampires. Cordelia and Giles start out as simple mortals with no supernatural abilities, but in season six Giles hinders evil-Willow with some bad-ass magicks, and Cordelia goes on to become one of the Powers-that-be in the later seasons of Angel.

Xander is the only character who doesn’t get any supernatural play. But he is just as much an integral part of the Scooby gang as anyone else. The fact that he remains such a sacred part of the inner-circle even though he has no superpower is incredible to me. He’s the heart of their operation, and if you ask me, that is a much harder role to fill. Xander manages to keep up his role alongside all of these characters that have been blessed with powers outside nature while he remains an average joe. Sure, he gets frustrated every now and then, but never so much that he is willing to abandon his friends.

What traits in particular do you wish you had that he does? btw Andy, I did notice that you assume my hero is male;Xander accepts that he is “the zeppo” – the one person in the group who is un-special. He has accepted that he is never going to be supernaturally-endowed like his friends but he still acknowledges that he brings something unique to their friendset. The fact that he is OK with this, and does not compete to become the strongest fighter or the most bad-ass witch, is extraordinary. I guess that tells me that he is not jealous or competitive, which are both traits I feel I take on when I am surrounded by a set of friends who are way awesomer than I am.

what traits do you not want? I do not want to be the guy that has to be rescued all the time because he can not get himself out of the ropes he’s been tied in. And I do not want to lose an eyeball.

Who do you think an american hero is? I think an American hero is someone like a comic book superhero. Spiderman or Superman

why? I get the feeling that most United Statesians want someone to swing in on a web and rescue them from their lives and rising gas prices and terrorism. This is something that will never happen because the American hero, like Spiderman, is fictional.

who do you think a superhero is? To me, the best kind of superhero is someone like Batman or Iron Man. Someone who used to be an average citizen but was genius enough to develop ridiculous technology to make changes in the world.

why? Because it is hard for me to believe that a spaceship crash- landed into our planet and out popped a man who could save the world for us. It’s too easy. Show me a person (speaking of are there any female superheroes like I’m about to describe?) in a great mess of trouble who actually makes himself into a superhero using realistic technology and I’m a believer. I don’t care how likely it is that Iron Man could have made that suit in a day in a cave in the middle of the desert – if there’s even a small percentage of a chance that it’s possible, I’ll buy it. And I’ll like that type of hero better. Because he made a choice to do what he did.

what kind of hero do you think the US and, even bigger, the world needs? This is the hardest question. Not because I don’t know, but because the type of hero the world needs is impossible to find. The reason it’s impossible is because we need a hero that everyone can agree is a hero. And that will never happen with the massive political, cultural, and religious differences in this world. My idea of a hero, or a superhero, is not going to be the same as anyone else’s. In all of the answers that you get back from this, I doubt you will get any two that are exactly the same. And for the most part, I’m sure that the people you asked have a lot in common. Now extend your questions to the entire world, and your response is going to be an enormous clusterfuck.

And I’m not sold that we need a hero anyway. I think individual people need to start making some goddamn improvements and take the blame when they mess up. If we had a world where all people believed in the same set of morals/values and everyone lived by them, we wouldn’t need a hero to come in and fix things.

But expecting that world to exist is unhealthy and unrealistic, and so is believing in superheroes.

¿Quieres Comer Conmigo?

Yesterday as I was driving home from work I started thinking about how it has been a very long time since I have seen my first boyfriend. Or had dinner with his family. One of the best bonuses of dating a Puerto Rican is the food. Yumm to arroz con habichuelas, bistec encebollao, tostones, pernil, and of course anything con pollo.

I thought it might be a good idea to try cooking something. I mean, it couldn't go worse than my first attempt (when I was fifteen I made bistec for him and I misunderstood the whole season to taste thing - so I coated the beef with vinegar and adobo as if it were chicken I was dipping in egg yolks and bread crumbs. He graciously ate it, though it tasted like schmoo), right?

I didn't realize that bistec (my all-time favorite meal) should marinade for a couple days, so I decided to try the rice and kidney beans with pork chops instead. And I have to say, I am pretty damn impressed with myself. No burned rice, no overseasoned meat. It was pretty friggin good. And gluten-free! So the roommates who were home quite enjoyed it. OK, OK, I'm doing a little back-patting about it, but it's hard not to be proud. Sure, it didn't taste quite as good as his mom's always did, but I'm a second-time gringa. All things considered, how could I not be so enthused?

I'd already bought the ingredients for bistec, so as I write the beef is marinating with onions, vinegar, oil, garlic, adobo, and of course Sazon Azafran. It smells delicious every time I open the fridge.

Now I can't wait until tomorrow.

Social Networking Blocked

Ugh. Work blocked Facebook. Wanna know why? Because for some reason it is classified as a "Personals & Dating" website. So no more saving three square feet of rain forest and ocean every day.

At least they didn't block Blogger.

And I still have lolcats.

Français Friday Update

It's Friday, at the end of a very long, very stressful, very awesome week.

I've done a lot of prepping for France this week! Including:

-bought my plane ticket (Sept 23rd-May 5th round trip for a sweet sweet deal)

-contacted the schools I will be teaching at (Collége Michelet and Collége Pierre Simon De Laplace)

-Downloaded Google Earth so I could fly to Lisieux from New Jersey, then Paris from Lisieux, then Caen from Paris, then to the Great Wall of China, Times Square, and my houses in Ocean City and Mays Landing

-Got super active on the Teaching Assistants in France forums and had all my questions answered: Yes, it will work out better to buy a round-trip and change the return date than to buy two one-ways; No, I will not be treated any differently because I have a nose piercing and a big-ass tattoo on my back; dating in France is totally not the same as here; No, no one is flying out of Newark the same night as I am; I should bring stick deodarant with me because they fancy the roll-ball kind.

-Added my name to the Wikiversity page of assistants in Caen and thus met my twin in Australia. Yep - soon-to-be French Teaching Assistant who currently works in an office and is completely addicted to Scrabulous

-Accepted the fact that I may not have millions, or even thousands, of dollars, but I'm still going to have the most rock-ass time ever.

From Emily's photobooth software (a little marred but you get the idea):

no words (well OK a few)

Go look at this.

I know that if I wanted to, I could start some HR shit with the chauvanist who works at my office because he has made a few inappropriate comments and cupped my shoulder on occasion. I know it, he knows it, and any HR rep would know it. And for that I am thankful. Thank god I wouldn't have to hear, "If we had no sexual harassment, we would have no children."

True Life: I'm a sap

Last night I turned on my TV to watch some more of Buffy Season Five en Francais(which by the way is really bolstering my confidence - I can now say "He's not a little ball of sunshine"). But I never turned on the DVD because what was on MTV was so much better.

Whoa. Did I just say that? I mean, I can admit I am addicted to MTV and VH1, but I don't usually defend the programming as any more than sleaze TV that sometimes makes a commentary on the weaker points of our society. While I argue that it has its merits, I never thought a show on either channel would be so good that it would delay me from turning on BtVS. But then I saw True Life: I'm deaf.

The show profiled two people who were born deaf. Amanda, 21, was born deaf but uses a hearing aid to listen to people's voices. She doesn't use sign language because she prefers to read lips, and she speaks. When she was young her mom enrolled her in a dance class and she was able to listen to the vibration of the music to pick up rhythm.

Chris is a high-school student who was also born deaf. He, unlike Amanda, relies on sign language to communicate because he doesn't know how his voice sounds. His girlfriend is learning sign language but they mostly communicate with written notes.

The episode documents life-changing events for both people. Chris gets a cochlear implant in his head, which means that he is able to hear for the first time in his life. He can hear his mother's voice, his father play the guitar, the sound of leaves beneath his feet, all of the chaotic sounds of a day in high school, and the way it sounds when his girlfriend says his name. Although it will take a few years for Chris to fully understand spoken language, he is happy to be able to hear.

Amanda tries out for a dance squad in Baltimore with two of her close friends. She is an incredible dancer and she is beautiful, but she doesn't make the cut. The update at the end of the episode tells us that she makes the next squad she tries out for.

Of course it is amazing that medical technology can make a deaf person hear, and that Amanda is a fantastic dancer though she can't hear the music, and that Chris and his girlfriend sustain a healthy relationship without verbal communication, but what impressed me most was the candor that Chris and Amanda have. The episode was wraught with moments of extreme vulnerability that these people let cameras be privy to: when Chris stands in front of his bathroom mirror and tries to form words when he has no idea how he sounds; when Amanda brings a ringing cell phone to her ear and then talks about how much it sucks to not be able to talk on the telephone; how she is so nervous that no one will count 5,6,7,8... before the routine and she will miss her first step of the audition. During these moments, I couldn't help feeling like a voyeur in their lives.

It is rare that a program on the TV stations I watch inspires me to make the most out of my life, but this one certainly did.

Letter to Morgan Freeman

Dear Morgan Freeman,

I truly hope you recover soon from your accident on Sunday. You are one of my favorite actors, and I can't imagine a Hollywood without you. Speedy Recovery, please.

Deepest regards,
Ashley

The shirt I wore yesterday

smells like someone new. I like that.

This is why I love Preston and Steve

I suggest if you want to laugh, you go to Preston and Steve's site and search for "poop goes in the potty."