Showing posts with label smashosophy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label smashosophy. Show all posts

09 October, 2011

call me ambitious

When else in my life am I going to have the chance to really focus on self-improvement? Let's face it, in the USA I never have time to create and reach goals for myself. Here, I work 12 hours a week, giving me plenty of time to travel, read, write, do whatever the heck I want, really. So, I present to you my goals for 2011-2012.

1. Get healthy physically, mentally, spiritually
2. Run 5k nonstop by March (the 3k track is literally right outside my door)
3. Find yoga and do it at least weekly
4. Eat seasonally
5. See Germany
6. See south of France
7. Perfect my french
8. Cut down dairy/sugar consumption
9. Write poems weekly
10. Try other forms of writing/arts
11. Create lessons that I can use later as a teacher
12. Save money
13. Make awesome friends (already cracking away at this one!)
14. Talk to family as often as possible
15. Translate some French poems
16. Complete National Poetry Month in April (write a poem a day)
17. Volunteer
18. Complete advanced degree of french studies
19. Handmake Christmas presents

This list was inspired by a photo I took last time I was in France of my goal list. And I realized I had done most of them:
1. Find yoga
2. Eat better
3. Walk 1/2 mile a day
4. Become fluent
5. Finish l'histoire de pi
6. Try 20 cheeses
7. See D-Day beaches
8. See Eiffel Tower
9. Go to England
10. Complete NaPoMo (intentionally not completed)
11. Write poem in French

Funny what changes in three years, what stays the same.

19 November, 2009

Something Awesome

Postsecret just turned me onto this website 1,000 Awesome Things.

So far, I've only gotten through four of them, but I'm hooked. It's a great website to look at right around Thanksgiving, isn't it?

My fave so far: When your nose is dripping and someone hands you a tissue.

Well, I'd say I'm inspired.

Here are five things that I think are hella awesome. Let's see if they're on the list of 1,000 somewhere.

5. The moment when everything suddenly calms down. I'm thinking specifically of when I got off the train from Paris to Lisieux last year. Everything was so stressful, and then stepping onto the platform was like an instant calm. But this happens all the time! When you check off the last in a loooong series of To-Does at work, when you put the last dish on the drying rack or dishwasher, when the giant tidal wave hits the arc you made for 1 million citizens and everyone survives...you name it!

4. Finding a sweet bit of nostalgia. You know the kind, the one you had almost forgotten, then it comes into your mind but no one knows what the hell it is, and you can't explain it very well anyway, so you begin to think maybe you created it too, but then one day it up and slaps you in the face. That one. For me, it's finding Garfield's Halloween Adventure or Dr. Quandary's Island. I'm still looking for episodes of Baywatch that featured scary things like vampires and ghosts.

3. Families we make for ourselves.

2. Falling in love, and having that person love you the same way.

1. My all-time favorite feeling in the world: When you wake up and look at the alarm clock and realize you still have one hour to sleep. I actually used to beg someone I knew who worked overnights to call me at like 4am so I could wake up and then go back to sleep!

I was going to criticize 1,000 Awesome Things for being a bit overblown with the writing, but I'm realizing now that that's just a side effect of raving about things that make you feel good!

06 December, 2008

Once Upon A Win

The folks at cheezburger have launched a-nother website. This one caught my eye right away because it's filed under "nostalgia win" and we all know how much I love nostalgia, especially now that I'm in a different country.

But I don't know how I feel right now about this website. To be fair, at the moment, there are only three pages. Maybe it just needs time to work out the kinks. But my first impression is that it lacks the hilarity of cheezburger, failblog, graphjam. Maybe if there were captions on the photos? I mean, we all love seeing things that take us back, like this great pic of Bob Ross:

Once Upon A Win
more epic win

but how come no funny pun? The picture is not enough. It's always the caption that provides the gutbusting laughs. Also, I haven't had the chance yet to watch the videos on the site - maybe they're way redeeming.

Or maybe it's just that each picture is titled "epic win - (insert subject here)." I'm pretty tired of the epic abuse of the word epic as an exaggeratory adjective. It's getting old. I think we should let it die. Let's use something else now, and reserve "epic" for the most serious cases.

I swear I'm not crotchety right now or anything, just a little disappointed. When I saw "nostalgia" I couldn't wait to see how hard I would laugh. But in fact, I'm having another best weekend ever in Rennes. I flipped crêpes last night and am about to go to a music festival! So videos and pics to come!

01 December, 2008

When you dream about your armpits

what does that say?

Last night, I had another dream in French. It was a short one, and a bizarre one. I dreamt that my armpit hair was grown in. A lot. And although I clearly hadn't shaved in a loooong time, I chose to wear a tanktop. As I was pointing something out to someone, this old old man noticed my little problem. So he screamed as loud as he could, while pointing at my underarms, "Tu es célibataire! Tu es célibataire!" (You're single! you're single!) I was embarassed and I looked down at the ground.

Well, I don't get embarassed much and I'm pretty candid on my blog. But this dream, for some reason, makes me feel like blushing. So, since I don't know what else to say, here's a funny deodorant ad:

12 November, 2008

Something's in the water

because I've been having the weirdest dreams ever. From rock-climbing with Barack Obama and John McCain to singing karaoke in a ballgown to getting killed by an ex-Nino's employee, I've certainly had some crazy ones. But this one is definitely the strangest. So far. Don't read on if you want to know what actually happens in Ashley's head. You might get scared.

November 6, 2008

I was doing something at my house. Housework or something. And I leaned over to pick something up off my couch, and my eyeball fell out. Just rolled right out of the socket! It didn’t hurt or anything, I was just worried because I wanted it back inside. And I was worried it would get dirty, and I wanted it to stay sanitary, so I put it in my mouth. I meant to just keep it there till I found a better place for it, but I accidentally ate some of it. It tasted awful. It sort of looked like an egg, and the top layer had come off.

After calling many numbers in the phone book, I finally found someone who would do the surgery on my eyeball. She said she was very busy but if she could find someone to watch her children she would be able to do it. She told me to meet her at the beach. I went to this beach that looked like the one at Deauville with some friends. People were surfing there. I laid in the back of the pickup truck bed with someone who felt exactly like Tapan but he had lighter skin and red hair. But it was him. I laid my head on his chest and noticed that his body was a puzzle. I was putting in the last piece – the corner of his heart – but it wasn’t correct. Someone had clearly put the puzzle together wrong before and now I would have to take it all apart and start again.

Finally I saw the woman who was going to put my eye back in. She was sunbathing! I asked her if we should, you know, go to her office. She said it was a good idea, so we went there. Barack Obama was the door man. Once in her office, I told her that I didn’t have any insurance right now. She explained to me that I had two operations to choose from. I could choose either the brand new $15,000 state-of-the-art eye with 20/20 vision that would look just like my own eye, or I could choose the other model – the eye of a dead world war two soldier. The vision wouldn’t last long and it wouldn’t look like my other eye in the least. This model cost $150,000. I thought that it was obvious which eye to choose, but Barack Obama disagreed with me. He encouraged me to buy the WWII eye, saying that it would be a great privilege and honor to wear this eye. He was so enthusiastic about this eye. I explained that I had no insurance and couldn’t afford it. He told me it would be no problem, and I thought he meant he would pay. So I went ahead and got the surgery.

In the end, Barack Obama did not pay my bill. I was left with a $150,000 bill and waning vision in a decrepit dead man’s eye.

22 October, 2008

A better way to pay homage to my country

Disclaimer: Allan is an awesome photographer. Most of the photos I used in this entry are his, which is made obvious by how good they are. I'm really happy that he was there to capture the day, and I'm really hoping I don't get in trouble for using the pictures. Is copyright as serious in France as it is in the US?


Best Week(end) Ever part 5 – D-Day Beaches



In high school and college I wasn’t too into history. Now I wish I had been. That’s because I have seen the D-Day beaches, and I am embarrassed at how much I don’t know. Would you think I was totally lame if you found out that before last Saturday I had no idea why there was a battle on those beaches? If you found out I didn’t even know which countries were fighting? Yeah, I think it’s pretty lame too.

You know that scene in Saving Private Ryan where old Tom Hanks is standing in front of the white cross, and then the camera pans out and you see that this cemetery is just full of crosses and goes on for what seems like forever? Believe me when I say even that scene does not do justice to the feeling of being there yourself.

On Saturday I woke up early, and found out what a typical French breakfast would be. I think C may have been shocked when she found out that during my month here, I had yet to have a proper French croissant. Well, she certainly fixed that. When Allan (I hope I spelled that right) returned from the bakery we all enjoyed our croissants and pain au chocolat (chocolate bread – did I mention it’s delicious?) and big bowls of hot chocolate.

After watching some of Billy Elliot, which seems to be fantastic - I must finish it, and some of Eastenders, a British soap, and having a shower in which the hot water lasted for more than the minute and a half that is typical of my studio, the family got together to take me to the beaches, and a tour of the beautiful Normandy countryside. Look how beautiful the clouds were on Saturday. I was complaining about how photos can’t capture the texture and beauty of clouds, but I think this one really did.

I love the look of country life. I love the way red vegetation is allowed to crawl over the side of a house, I love the structure of the farm houses, I love the red geraniums that are sometimes popular outside windows. It’s all just really beautiful.

Before I knew it we arrived to the first beach of the day. Forgive me for not knowing the name. It was a very small beach with not much left, but you could still see the bunkers in the ocean where the Americans arrived. Even though it was small it was still powerful.

We drove on to a lookout point. I think it may have been called Arromanche, but I’m not sure. From a small tower you could look out over the seas and the parking lot, into which a tour bus was pulling. C pointed out to me that there was a veteran in that bus. As we pulled out, we saw the veteran exit the bus. He was wearing his suit with his medals, and I can’t remember the last time I felt so much respect for a person. Even from inside a car, without meeting him or even seeing him up close, I had to hold back tears. I can’t imagine what it must be like for him to come back.

Our next stop was the Normandy American Cemetery and Memorial. That’s the one from Saving Private Ryan that I was talking about earlier. I noticed right away that all the signs were in English, and C and Allan explained to me that we were technically on American soil, since the USA bought the land. All of the employees there speak English, all the signs are in English first, and the grounds are kept just like any American military ceremony. In a strange way, it felt like returning home.

As we walked into the grounds, the National Anthem started to play. I never realized just how deeply that music is engrained in me. I knew it from the first chord. There was a ceremony happening around this statue for a tour group that had just arrived. Everyone was silent and collected around the statue. I joined them and just couldn’t help but cry.

I decided to walk over to a lookout over the beach first. I needed some time before the cemetery. And looking at the beach really hit me. The thing that affected me the most was how completely calm it was. Just a regular beach. Some people walking on it, the constant cycle of waves, but overall it was totally quiet. It’s hard to imagine how riotous it must have been on June 6th, 1944.

I felt like I was ready as I would ever be to head to the cemetery. And I’m telling you, there is no way to explain the gravity of all those crosses. I could tell you that there are 9300+ graves, but I’m not sure that that is a comprehensible number. I could muse about the impact of war and how behind every grave there is a whole grieving family, but I’m not sure that’s the right way to describe the feeling either. Maybe the experience is one that can’t be expressed at all.
So maybe I’ll just let you look at the pictures:









Like I said, I’m not a big history buff. I only studied WWII enough to pass the test on it in 11th grade. I don’t watch war movies. I don’t read war litt. Call it a defense mechanism. And I have been lucky enough not to lose anyone to war. Ever. And with all that considered, this experience was still the most overwhelming, heart wrenching one I have ever had. I can’t imagine how it must feel for people who have more invested to visit this cemetery. I just can not imagine.

Once I felt like I couldn’t take the cemetery any more, we went down to Omaha beach. Like I said, it was calm. I’m so so so happy that petite Alice was with us on this day. At 3, she doesn’t comprehend war or death; all she wants to do is run on the beach and play with her shadow. Running and playing with her really helped to relieve the tension I was feeling. Thank you, petite Alice!


After the beaches, we all went to Bayeux. It was too late to see the famous tapestry (tear) but I did see the cathedral. Cathedrals really astound me. The thought that someone – well actually, a lot of someones – would care about and have enough love for one deity to construct something like this leaves me speechless. This picture is just the base of the cathedral. There was no way to get a good picture of the whole thing. That you can find here.

We walked around Bauyeux for a while. C used to teach here so she’s an expert on the city. There were many beautiful buildings, of course. I’m jealous of the history that France has. Buildings this old just don’t exist in the USA.

For dinner we went to an Indian restaurant, which was awesome for two reasons: 1. I wanted to compare French Indian food to American Indian food. It’s the same but less spicy. 2. It reminded me of Tapan, who I miss every single day. And I felt so in-the-know. I didn’t order meat, I used only my right hand to pull the nan apart and pick up the Korma Taj Mahal (veggie dish). It was really nice. Conversation was, as usual, awesome, and petite Alice was just lovely.

Once we returned home, everyone was ready to crash. It had been a long day for everyone, but, excuse the cliché, an incredible learning experience.

10 October, 2008

Two Weeks In

I was gchatting Tapan Tuesday, telling him how much I miss him, and he said, “babe, you just have to hang in there for 6 ½ more months.”

Imagine this: I never before realized there would be a 6 ½ months in this process. Anytime I talked about France before it was always 7 months. And it’s hard to explain and probably makes no sense, but I thought the 7 months feeling would last all the way until May, when I got on the plane back home. But now it feels like I’m going to be here for 6 ½ more months. And at some point in the near future it’s going to feel like 5 more months. And so on, until one month, one week, three days.

Before Tapan said what he did I hadn’t thought about these milestones, hadn’t even consciously realized they would exist. Thinking about them makes the time go a little faster.

27 September, 2008

Life in France - Finally calm

Hello readers!

I am proud to say that I have finally settled into my town in Lisieux, France. It was a little rough in the beginning – Paris was not easy for me – but I am feeling totally secure right now. As I write, I am sitting in my studio apartment sipping some pesticide-free green tea, listening to iTunes on my computer and French news on TV, and enjoying something du chocolat from the sweets shop down the street from me. As relaxing as this is, it was quite a journey to get here. Shall we start from the beginning?


Day One – Paris
Last I wrote (I mean aside from the blog entry to ease the minds of my parents) I was at the Woodstock hostel enjoying the company of three roommates – a pair of cousins from Spain who had interesting things to tell me about Spanish dancing, and a girl from Germany who was taking a tour of Europe before going back home to go to university. Everyone at the hostel spoke English, and that made me really envious of the European system of education. The girl from Germany (whose name I promptly forgot) spoke German, English, Spanish and French. She’d been taking them in school for ten years. I wish I had that kind of experience with foreign languages. I admit I’m not sure exactly what the policies are in the US right now, but when I was in school we were only required to take two years of a foreign language. And in my high school, two years was about the equivalent of one semester of college language. Language is so important if you ever want to travel outside your home country. Even with three semesters under my belt, I have been totally lost traveling through Paris. I only understand about 30% of what I hear. I think that’s improving by the minute, though.

Side note: “Mr. Vain” is playing on my iTunes playlist right now, and that gives me happy memories of a certain yellow motorcycle.

Anyway, I wish that I had socialized more with the people at the Woodstock. Most of the people in the courtyard were American, so we could have talked, but the truth is I was feeling kind of shy and didn’t really want to talk to anyone new. I was missing everyone at home so much that I was much happier to stay in my room with free wifi and call my parents and Tapan, and gchat with anyone that was online. At the time I wasn’t sure why I was unmotivated to go socialize, but it was better that I stayed in my room. At about 9pm, this guy Ian from Chicago, who had stayed in my bed the previous night, came knocking at the door. He was supposed to have flown out to Dublin earlier in the day, but when he went to the airport, his airline swore up and down that he was not in their system and they had never heard of him. They weren’t very hospitable to him and his only choice was to come back to the hostel. Woodstock was booked, as were all the other hostels he tried, and so he had no place to stay that night. He also didn’t have much money, and had no idea how to get in touch with his mother in Chicago. Lucky for him I had my MagicJack (yeah that was product placement, and I’m not ashamed – this thing is awesome!) and I let him use it to call his mom.

Three hours later he had successfully rebooked with his mother’s credit card for the flight, and he also found a hostel in Dublin for the next night. I was so happy to help him, and he kept apologizing for the inconvenience. Of course I didn’t mind. It felt good to help a fellow traveler. I know if I were in his place, I would want someone to help me. And he really needed the help seeing as how he only spoke a few words of French. Ian was so thankful that he even gave me some money, and insisted that I take it. I tried to tell him no, that he needed it more than me, but he assured me that his mom would wire him some in Dublin. There was really no way I could give it back, and I can’t say I wasn’t happy about the offer. Ian basically paid for my room at the Woodstock and my train to Lisieux the next day.

You know, I admire Ian a lot. He came to France a month and a half ago to join the legion and ended up staying a little longer. It seems he is a careless traveler – and by that I don’t mean stupid or naïve, I just mean he is without care about the future, and how he will get there. I only knew him for a couple hours, but it seemed he was OK with not knowing where things were going to go, exaclty. He planned to go to Dublin and pick up a job somewhere if that’s what he had to do. I wish that I could travel where the road takes me like that, but I could never see myself going somewhere without income, or a fixed job, or a contact. Thanks for everything Ian, I really appreciate it, and bon courage avec votre voyage!

By the time he left, I was exhausted. It was 1 am and I hadn’t slept the night before. I talked with Tapan a little before my internet time ran out, and then went to sleep. I would have to wake up really early the next morning. And you know what’s super? My alarm clock on my phone was not working and I forgot my travel alarm. Miss Germany set her alarm for me, but I went to sleep super-stressed that night because I wasn’t sure if I could rely on that alarm. And I had to get to Lisieux on time the next morning to meet with my contact at Collège Michelet. On top of all that, I’d forgotten to buy my ticket online for the train, and the schedules online looked like there would be no trains until late in the afternoon, which would make me miss my appointment at the school and leave me to find my own room the next night. Aahhh!

I wanted to cry, but like all the other times I’d wanted to cry the past week, there were people around me and I had to stifle the tears. It was hard to sleep, as I was in a foreign place in a foreign country, and there was a lot of noise in the hostel. Before I knew it, my roommate was (thankfully) waking me up. Another day had just begun!

Day Two – Paris/Lisieux

Part One – Journey to Lisieux

Once I woke up on Thursday I went downstairs and had my first taste of French food! (I had been so overwhelmed with travel that I had forgotten to eat anything the previous day) French breakfast was simple: baguettes avec le beurre et le jams de freses et l’orange (bread with butter and orange/strawberry jams). I had two pieces and some water and then asked the man at the counter if he could call me a cab to the train station. My arms were exhausted from carting my luggage all over Paris, and there was no way I was going to make it up and down all the metro stairs by myself. As an aside, I would like to ask France: where are all the escalators? Don’t you have people with disablities? Back to my story, the receptionist tried to call a cab, but when I went downstairs again, he had some bad news: there were no cabs available. There was a train strike in Paris that I had no idea was going on. I might be able to find a taxi on the street, but I would probably have to get on the metro to get to the station.

A train strike? Did I hear him correctly? Could this really be happening? What was I going to do?

I didn’t have time to think about it too much. I was holding back tears as it was, and I just wanted to move. So I packed my bags, bought a bottle of water, and was on my way. As soon as I began to pull the bags felt the worst pain in my neck. Where was Emari with whatever yoga move would relieve the tension? Where was Tapan with a neck rub for me? Not here. And that thought was enough to break me. I think it was the first time I realized just how far away I was from everything I love, everyone I care about. That was it. There was no way I could stop the tears now. I had to find a park bench to collect myself.

As I was sitting in that park, I watched a flock of schoolchildren walk through, giggling and chattering. How I envied them in that moment. So carefree, so free in general it seemed. I hope they are never lost in a different country with heavy bags and no contact closer than an hour away. Even if they are, they’ll probably know how to ask for help with their knowledge of languages. I looked at my cell phone once again. Still no service. It was like 2am in the US anyway, but I had never wanted so badly to call my mom. She’s the one I always call when things get overwhelming to the point of tears, and there was no way I could reach her. If she only knew how much I missed her at that moment, even now as I write this. It’s indescribably hard.

Anyway, I had to stop being an emo kid. No time for that nonsense. I had to keep moving. Even if there was a train strike, I had to try. I made it to the metro and down the stairs. I managed to buy my ticket in French and get through the turnstile with two suitcases (which is really really hard). Then down another set of stairs, no escalator in sight. A man tried to help me, but I remembered everything I had heard about people running off with suitcases, so I said non, merci.

When the first metro pulled up, I think I was having a mini-panic attack. My breathing was heavy, my heart was racing, I was über-sweaty, and I could see that this particular line was jam-packed. You know that fear I have of cramped places? Yeah, I had to get over that real quick. I had to fight my way on too, because no one wanted to be stuck on this crowded, stinky metro with a silly American struggling with two suitcases. Lucky for them, I only had one stop.

I got off at Pigalle and found the correct line for the train station – at least my intuition for subways was improving! I was immediately confronted with…more stairs? Are they kidding? We were already underground! At this point, I was so tired I thought I might pass out right there in the station. I’m sure my face resembled a cherry, and I probably stunk of sweat. I had to take the stairs one at a time, then lift one suitcase down to the next step, then do the other. A kind woman asked me if I needed help, and this time, I gave in. Let her steal it, I thought. It would be lighter for me after that. But of course she just left it for me at the landing.

I followed more signs for my line, and guess what I found after a long hallway? You got it: more stairs! I couldn’t believe my eyes. I broke. Couldn’t hold in the tears anymore. I let another man help me down this set, and at the bottom a couple of people were concerned about me. They asked if I was OK and I just answered, “Oiu, ça va, merci.” What else could I say? I couldn’t really articulate what was wrong with me. It was like my French had dissipated completely. I was crying, preparing myself for another set of stairs, when finally I saw the metro line.

I turned around to do some breathing and collect myself when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see a woman, and she asked me if I was OK. Then she asked me again in English, and she wouldn’t let me just brush her off. I explained to her what was going on – how my bags were so heavy and I had just arrived yesterday, and hadn’t slept much, etc., and she listened. She helped me get my bags on the metro and told me which exit I wanted. She even asked a man if I could sit. He promptly shrugged us off. Her presence really calmed me, and allowed me to stop crying. I asked her name. It’s Rajia – a beautiful name suitable for her lovely personality.

At my stop, I thanked her profusely, and she told me she would help me with my train ticket, no question. I was so appreciative, though I felt like I was a bit of an inconvenience. She assured me it was fine – her boss was off that day, so she could be a little late for work. She told me she knows what it’s like to be in a situation like mine, and she really believes in helping others. And help me she did! She carried one of my two bags all the way to the station, and helped me buy my ticket and find the correct gate. I got her e-mail and phone number, and she asked me to please come visit her in Paris, without my bags. She suggested we go on a tour of the city sometime. I would love to go visit her and her two kids! And I fully plan to send her a nice present. Merci beaucoup Rajia, pour tout de votre aide!

While I was waiting for my train at the station, I realized something. There’s this stigma about the French. A lot of people have done nothing but tell me that the French hate Americans, and I am crazy for wanting to come here. But you know what? Those people are completely delusional, and they’ve probably never really been here. See, what I learned that morning on the metro is that French people are just people. Some are rude, yes, but most are not. Rajia was truly surprised that that man on the metro didn’t give me his seat. I feel indebted to the people who were willing to help me, a crying American, with my heavy luggage. And I feel so grateful that people like Rajia exist – she’s got her own life to worry about, complete with kids and a job, but she still took time out of her day to help me, a complete stranger, and she didn’t ask for anything in return. Believe me when I say I’m going to pay that one forward.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pay_it_forward

The train ride to Lisieux was peaceful, with a great view:


Once I was out of Paris, I began to feel much calmer. I guess I just don’t do too well with cities. I’m the same way about New York, especially when I’m alone. The train ride was about an hour and a half. And the cars were just like the ones in Eurotrip!

When I got off the bus, I could see the Basillique Sainte Thérèse (insert link). I can’t wait to see it closer, and take lots of pics for GPop and GMom A. Even from such a distance, it is breathtaking:


Once in Lisieux, I knew everything was going to be different. Maybe it’s because Tapan was fasting for me (Thank you love, I am eternally grateful). It was easy to find a cab and it only took five minutes to get to Collège Michelet. I was greeted with a set of iron gates (pictures to come later). Hmmmm. How was I going to get in? Ah, someone was coming to the school. I asked her if she worked there. And I had no problem asking. It’s as if Paris had stunted my French, and the calm atmosphere of Lisieux had allowed it to re-emerge! I introduced myself as the assistant of English, and she let me in. She allowed me to put my bags in the principal’s office and introduced me to him. Monsieur Martin is a genial older man with the most wonderful moustache I have ever seen. Neither he nor the woman spoke English, but it was OK. They asked me if I was hungry, and I said yes. They treated me to a free cafeteria lunch.

Here’s the thing about cafeteria food in France (well, at least in my school): it is delicious! And there’s a huge variety of things to choose from! For my first meal (I wish I’d remembered to take a photo), I had bread, a salad, a plate of macaroni, and a main dish with egg, potatoes, cauliflower and a cream sauce. I met a lot of people in the teacher’s cafeteria: a French teacher from Romania (which reminds me of Vampires the class. Ugh. Ask Donna.), a math teacher named David (who recognized New Jersey because of Bon Jovi and Bruce Springsteen), and two of the English teachers! Everyone was so nice to me, and I realized just how much I’m going to love it here.

My English teachers speak to me in a mix of French and English, which is much appreciated right now. I’m not quite ready to be immersed in all French all the time. Soon, though, I hope.

After lunch, we went to the teacher’s lounge where I met some more welcoming people. I was supposed to observe classes that afternoon, but I must have had some serious baggage under my eyes, because everyone kept saying that I should rest instead. And not to worry: they had arranged housing for me! It was the most dominant of my worries, and it was a major relief to hear that I could scratch it from that list. Karen, a very beautiful English teacher, and Natalie, the headmistress of sorts, drove me to the nearby high school – Lycée Gambier – and helped me with my bags. There we met the housing director, Loeiza (say: Louisa), who like so many others was super welcoming and helpful. She took me to my building and showed me two available rooms right next to each other. And, since I was the first to arrive, I got to pick between the two!

They were both similar, with a bed, a chair, a table, a fully equipped kitchen, an armoire, a closet, and a bathroom, but I had to go for the room with the yellow tablecloth, of course!

After I chose my room, Karen, Loeiza and I returned downstairs to sign the papers for the housing. And, to my great relief, I found out that the rent is only 120€ a month! I think that’s a little less than $200. Awesome! Karen had to go back to classes so I stayed to finish some things with Loeiza, who doesn’t speak English. She gave me a tour of the building and gave me my keys.

Here is the school:

Here is my building:

The door to my wing:

My door:

Much to my relief, and my parents’ I’m sure, everything at the school is really secure. It’s gated which means no one can get in without a key. And there are two locked doors to open before you can get to my room. So mom and dad, that’s three locks. There’s also a night watchman who, obviously, watches the place at night. I feel wayyy safe here!

I informed Loeiza that I would need an alarm clock (I had to be at school the next morning at 9:30am. She kindly offered to take me to the store at 6pm so I could get some sleep. Of course I didn’t sleep though. I was too excited to unpack. There’s something about putting your personal things into a space that makes it feel like home. And I need this place to feel as much like home as I can!

I couldn’t be happier with my room. I get five French channels on the TV (the first thing I saw on TV was Law and Order, Sharon and Andy!), and everything is the perfect size for one person. And the chair in the studio sort of reminds me of the Americana chair from 1725. A happy reminder of home. I made my bed with the sheet I brought from home and sprayed it down with Tapan’s body spray. Gotta make use of those olfactory senses as much as possible!


Day Two: Promenade

Loeiza arrived at 6pm, just like she said she would, and she showed me all around town. The center of the town is a two minute walk from Gambier, and there is so much going on there! (Pics to come later.) We first went to this technology store called Darty. I was proud of myself when I handled everything without Loeiza’s help. She was there if I needed her, but I successfully told the employees I wanted an alarm clock and specified which one. It was only 7€ but they gave me a guarantee on it! So I plan to leave it for next year’s assistant when I go home.

After buying the alarm clock we went to Monoprix, a supermarket. The cheese aisle really does go on forever! I was shocked to see how many American brands there are. I tried my best to stay away from them though. I want everything during this trip to be French! Except lady products of course. Sometimes it’s best to stick with what you know works. But for everything else – food, tea, beauty products, I want to be as authentic as possible. Hey don’t judge me! The Clean and Clear is from home. And Garnier is French!

After the Supermarket, Loeiza took me to her favorite boulangerie/patisserie (bread and sweets shop). There, I bought my first baguette (which should make Chris Holt happy)! When we got back to the school, Loeiza invited me back into her flat Isn’t it adorable? The inside is even better! We had some wine – a delicious sweetened white wine – and some nuts. And we talked! I mean really had a conversation in French. I’m so happy that I can really do it. We talked about my day, my life in America, her boyfriend, even American politics! I said a lot of things to her, such as “I don’t know how George Bush is the president,” “I hope there are some persons here who will talk with me about politics American,” and (after she left the room for a minute and I focused on the TV) “Sometimes I’m stupid – I watched the TV and I thought ‘why is she speaking French?’ Then I realized,” and Loeiza joins me and we say in unison, “ah, I am in France!” and we giggle about my mistake. Together. I made a joke and she understood. Utter triumph!

I had a great time with her, but I was getting hungry so, after thanking her profusely for being so kind to me, I headed back to my room and made my first baguette into a yummy sandwich with camembert (a soft cheese) and poulet (chicken). Here’s a video I made for my friends:

Just ignore the whole “Don’t tell anyone” part, since I just blogged everything.

After eating and showering, I found this gem: It’s one of those super old washing basins. It fits in my sink and I can plug it into the wall and do small loads of laundry with it! Now I don’t have to pay for the lavomatique. Once I did my laundry, cleaned up and hung the clothes in various places to dry, I watched some Buffy in French and went to sleep. By the way, I can understand a lot more of the words in Buffy now.

The day had gone by so fast and I found myself depressed. I hadn’t had the chance to use the internet at all to call my parents or Tapan or any of my friends. I really wish I had internet in my room, but what can you do? I ended up crying myself to sleep. Really horrendously crying even despite the great day I had. I guess I just had to get it all out of my system, all the tears I had suppressed all week. I just hoped I would feel better in the morning.

Day three: Lisieux - Teaching

Bon journée! How do I look? Cause I feel a whole lot better than I did last night! In this pic, I am about to leave for my first day of observing classes! I gave myself an hour to get to school, because I wasn’t sure exactly how big Lisieux is. And the hour was good, because I got lost twice. But in getting lost, I found a really great public garden, the post office, my bank and a beautiful church. And even with the getting lost I still got to school fifteen minutes early. Lisieux is so small that nothing in the town is more than twenty minutes away by foot, when you don’t get lost anyway.

When I got to school I met another English teacher, Phillip, who is fascinating! He is Scottish but he doesn’t want the kids to learn that accent, so when he’s in class he switches into an English accent. It’s one of the most interesting linguistic things I’ve seen so far. The kids were awesome! They seemed pretty excited to see me. His class had 27 students of about 11 years old. During group session I even walked around and asked if I could see how they were doing. After class, some of the students were excited to ask me questions, like “When did you arrive,” and “How long will you be here,” before they had to rush off to recess.

After Phillip’s class, I observed Karen’s class. She had 28 pupils of older kids, like 13-15. And they were just like typical teenagers. Lots of piercings, more lipliner on some of the girls than I’ve ever had in my possession. Karen let them ask me as many questions as they wanted. My favorite: “Do you know 50 cent?” My response: “Go shawty, it’s your birthday.”

After her class, one particularly attentive student had a lot of questions for me. She plans to go to university, and she wanted to know if Americans would understand her if she spoke British English. And she spoke very well, so I assured her she would be fine aside from some tiny differences in phrasing. Like how in British English an eraser is called a rubber, and she should remember to call it an eraser.

During lunch I socialized with the English teachers, and we made plans to take some of the students on a trip to the D-Day Landing beaches. I am so excited! We are also going to go on a wine- and cheese-tasting tour (without the students of course). After lunch I filled out my social security papers (yay for universal health care!) and then I walked home. And on the way, I stopped at the medi@theque (a library and media center in one) and signed up for a membership, which is only 12 € for an entire year! I tried to blog there, but it proved impossible – the keyboards are totally different! The amount of typos I make is absurd. Rachel could not stop laughing at me as we were gchatting, I’m sure. I got a movie to watch, called Naked. I’m not sure if it’s French or just translated, but I’m excited to see what it’s all about.

And that’s precisely what I’m going to do now. Relax with this movie and some thé vert, because tomorrow I’m waking up early and going straight to the medi@theque. Because I have blogs and news to catch up on. Rach told me about Washington Mutual. Oh boy.

It’s quite a time to be away from the US. Especially because I just started giving a damn about the state of our country.

Highlights of the day:

-When I walked by a bush that smelled of pine, it put a smile on my face because I thought of Christmas. I wish someone would come visit me for the holidays :(

-When a student wanted to ask me a question and she didn’t know the word for boyfriend, she said, “Do you have a lover?” What could I do but nod?

-When I bought stamps from the post office. The cashier understood me perfectly and I didn’t have to repeat a thing.

-Epic fail of the day: I took out money from the ATM at the post office, because I didn’t know if there was a BNP (sister bank of Bank of America) in Lisieux, and I wanted to have some cash on me. I paid a $5.00 surcharge and 1% of my withdrawal, when at BNP I would only pay the 1% of withdrawal. BNP, I soon discovered, was three doors down.

13 August, 2008

Cause: Heroes for Andy

So Andy sent a note over facebook a while ago that prompted all of his friends to consider some questions about heroes and heroism. It took me a while to respond because I thought good and long about it. And I came up with some answers that I think are pretty solid, though they could use a little more analysis. At any rate, I think they're blogworthy, so here they are for your viewing pleasure (bolded bits are Andy's questions):

Who is your hero? Alexander Harris, the character from the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, is my hero.

why? what about that person/s makes them your hero? Xander remains throughout the series the only character that does not have or develop some sort of supernatural power. Let’s look at the characters: Buffy is of course the slayer, Willow and Tara are witches, Anya is an ex-vengeance demon, Dawn starts out as a mystical key, Oz becomes a werewolf, Angel and Spike are two examples of an ever-expanding cast of vampires. Cordelia and Giles start out as simple mortals with no supernatural abilities, but in season six Giles hinders evil-Willow with some bad-ass magicks, and Cordelia goes on to become one of the Powers-that-be in the later seasons of Angel.

Xander is the only character who doesn’t get any supernatural play. But he is just as much an integral part of the Scooby gang as anyone else. The fact that he remains such a sacred part of the inner-circle even though he has no superpower is incredible to me. He’s the heart of their operation, and if you ask me, that is a much harder role to fill. Xander manages to keep up his role alongside all of these characters that have been blessed with powers outside nature while he remains an average joe. Sure, he gets frustrated every now and then, but never so much that he is willing to abandon his friends.

What traits in particular do you wish you had that he does? btw Andy, I did notice that you assume my hero is male;Xander accepts that he is “the zeppo” – the one person in the group who is un-special. He has accepted that he is never going to be supernaturally-endowed like his friends but he still acknowledges that he brings something unique to their friendset. The fact that he is OK with this, and does not compete to become the strongest fighter or the most bad-ass witch, is extraordinary. I guess that tells me that he is not jealous or competitive, which are both traits I feel I take on when I am surrounded by a set of friends who are way awesomer than I am.

what traits do you not want? I do not want to be the guy that has to be rescued all the time because he can not get himself out of the ropes he’s been tied in. And I do not want to lose an eyeball.

Who do you think an american hero is? I think an American hero is someone like a comic book superhero. Spiderman or Superman

why? I get the feeling that most United Statesians want someone to swing in on a web and rescue them from their lives and rising gas prices and terrorism. This is something that will never happen because the American hero, like Spiderman, is fictional.

who do you think a superhero is? To me, the best kind of superhero is someone like Batman or Iron Man. Someone who used to be an average citizen but was genius enough to develop ridiculous technology to make changes in the world.

why? Because it is hard for me to believe that a spaceship crash- landed into our planet and out popped a man who could save the world for us. It’s too easy. Show me a person (speaking of are there any female superheroes like I’m about to describe?) in a great mess of trouble who actually makes himself into a superhero using realistic technology and I’m a believer. I don’t care how likely it is that Iron Man could have made that suit in a day in a cave in the middle of the desert – if there’s even a small percentage of a chance that it’s possible, I’ll buy it. And I’ll like that type of hero better. Because he made a choice to do what he did.

what kind of hero do you think the US and, even bigger, the world needs? This is the hardest question. Not because I don’t know, but because the type of hero the world needs is impossible to find. The reason it’s impossible is because we need a hero that everyone can agree is a hero. And that will never happen with the massive political, cultural, and religious differences in this world. My idea of a hero, or a superhero, is not going to be the same as anyone else’s. In all of the answers that you get back from this, I doubt you will get any two that are exactly the same. And for the most part, I’m sure that the people you asked have a lot in common. Now extend your questions to the entire world, and your response is going to be an enormous clusterfuck.

And I’m not sold that we need a hero anyway. I think individual people need to start making some goddamn improvements and take the blame when they mess up. If we had a world where all people believed in the same set of morals/values and everyone lived by them, we wouldn’t need a hero to come in and fix things.

But expecting that world to exist is unhealthy and unrealistic, and so is believing in superheroes.

14 July, 2008

On Mondays

Sometimes your life feels like this:

11 July, 2008

I feel it all I feel it all

I watched Where the Heart Is last night. It's been a favorite of mine since the first time I saw it in 2000 and had to immediately buy the book because I loved it so much. And as I was rewatching it last night, I learned something about myself.

I'm anti-pretentious. I am un-elitist. I am completely fine with that.

I enjoy media that is designed for the masses. Indeed I prefer it over media that is produced for the elitist crowd. Sure, I can enjoy indie music when my roommates listen to it at home, but when I am alone in my car I would much rather spin a CD that will make me dance or sing. Though I love The Books and Broken Social Scene, I would rather rock out to Danity Kane or Maroon 5 anyday.

I've been thinking about how I felt while I was watching Where the Heart is last night. I cried with Novalee when Americus was stolen and with Lexi when her boyfriend abused her and her children. I clutched my pillow when the tornado swept away Americus' bear and Sister Husband (and almost took Americus and Novalee too). I actually laughed out loud when Novalee told the baseball team to untuck their shirts. And when Novalee and Forney embraced at the end of the movie, I felt the way I imagine it would feel to be swept off my feet. All of this emotion in a two-hour movie seems excessive, I know, but I thrive on these types of feelings.

It's the reason I like gimmicky movies so much. When I laugh at a punchline in a movie, I feel a connection to all the other people who laughed at the same line. When the prey overcomes the hunter in a horror movie I feel a wave of satisfaction that I assume (at least some) other people feel when they watch it. This connection, this sense of fulfillment that I get from movies, TV, music, is something that I hope I never lose the ability to feel.

If I closed myself off to media that wasn't entirely intellectual, if I only let myself watch things that appeal to the most elite of viewers, I would lose a hell of a lot. I like feeling as connected to as many people as possible. Though it's fulfilling to have similar moments when watching an indie movie or listening to an incredibly talented, lesser-known vocalist, the group of people who can share these feelings with me is far smaller.

For a while I was embarassed about my love for trashy reality TV and B horror movies and Janet Evanovich, but why should I be? I can get down with Regina and The Science of Sleep and Aimee Bender too. I'm more cultured than any hipster (and by that I mean conforming non-conformist) could ever be.

And besides, I don't have enough money to be a hipster.

30 June, 2008

How to remove a tick safely

when i was young (7-9ish), my mother made fun of me a lot for being overweight. and though we didn't live in the woods, and i didn't do much outdoors, there were many instances that i found ticks on my body. ma doesn't know this (and she's computer illiterate so will probably never find out), but whenever i found a tick on my stomach, thigh or any other body part that wasn't typically visible, i would be much too ashamed of my fat to show her and ask for help removing the parasite. i would sit in the bathroom and try to remember how she removed ticks back when i would let her see my skin. i knew she used tweezers, but i couldn't just go get the tweezers and return to the bathroom - she would know something was up. so i would pull the tick as slowly as possible away from my flesh. and every single time, the body would detach from the head, and i would be left with a tick head embedded inside. and then i would remember. vaseline! she always used vaseline to smother the tick out. so i would open the medicine cabinet and slather vaseline all over whatever area was puffing up and reddening. of course it was too late - with no body, the head could never escape the petroleum jelly.

and this happened more than once. i'd say i've probably had 8-10 tick heads float around my body in the course of my life. and i'm sure (i truly hope) that my body has killed them all.

but today i found this tidbit of information and thought i would share it, in case there's any 6-9 year old reading this who is wondering how to go about removing a tick properly without ever having to show flesh to parent:

"To remove a tick, apply a glob of liquid soap to a cotton ball. Cover the tick with the soap-soaked cotton ball for a few seconds (15-20), after which the tick will come out on its own and be stuck to the cotton ball when you lift it away."

Or better yet, just get over your ridiclous fears of your mother's judgement. She's going to badger you about weight whether you show her your bare stomach or not, so grow a pair. Or get lyme disease.

25 June, 2008

smASHosophy

tell me why some people pronounce a male gender pronoun so strangely.

as in "let go of eem."

or "i gave eem a laxative."

i'm all for dialects and pronunciations different from my own, but this one really irks me.

end scene.